My Dad

I have always been so proud to have my dad be my dad. When I was little he was like a superhero. He really could fix anything. He really was stronger than anyone else. He had a great jump shot. He could hit the ball out of the park. He had the deepest voice. He knew something about almost everything. He has been the greatest dad.

The picture below was from a daddy/daughter date. That day my dad had stabbed himself in the leg while butchering chickens. He had something like 29 stitches in his thigh and we still won the 3 legged race. I'm just saying....

He has had cancer for 5 years now. I was going to say battling. But he hasn't been battling, the stupid cancer has. He hasn't been sick or had any symptoms but the cancer just won't go away. Not until my dad got cancer did I ever have physical manifestations of grief or sorrow. When I think about something happening to my dad it literally becomes hard to swallow and my chest hurts. It's weird. Because I'm a grown up. I'm 37 and 1/2. I don't NEED a dad anymore. But I sure do WANT him.

Even as an adult, when my dad comes to visit, I feel like it's silly to lock my doors. I feel so safe. I just know nothing bad will happen to my little family with my dad around.

Since I started working for DCFS as a peer parent, I get to be around alot of malfunctioning adults. These adults have kids that are at risk which is why they need the services of a peer parent. Most of these folks were abused and/or neglected as children themselves and are carrying on the cycle. My dad's father was horribly abusive to his wife and his (I want to say 11?) kids. I had a wonderful childhood. I was raised on a farm in a small town. My dad handed out his share of spankings, but he was never abusive. We always knew we were loved. We always knew our parents had our back. When I spoke to my dad about how amazing it was that he broke the abuse cycle in one generation, basically with him, he tried to make it out to be no big deal. But it is a HUGE deal. It means the world to me and my family. We are so blessed to have had him go to bat for us and he knocked it out of the park. I truly believe that he came before us to make our way so very easy. If that's not a hero then I don't know what it.

I love this picture of us with the basketballs playing elimination. My favorite thing to do and still is is to play sports. You name it, I'll play it. I'm still not very coordinated but boy am I competitive. I was a pretty good basketball player when I was young and an even better softball player. I can still remember being in 3rd grade and my mom told me that I had basketball practice. They just signed me up. I was like, "what's basketball?" My mom said, "You'll find out tonight." I was hooked. And I got the best basketball coach ever, Bob Kadell.  If even half the coaches that I ref for were half the man that Mr Kadell was....(I need to blog about this later.)

My dad loved to watch his kids play sports. I could hear him yell all the way across the gym. He drove all over Oregon to watch me play. Even in college when I barely played he would drive hours one way to watch. I think about that often. I always wished I could shoot a jumper like he did but I never managed a very high jump ever, let alone to shoot while doing it. I still love to call and brag when I've had a good night. 

Whenever we can we get together as a family and play elimination. This is me trying to grad dad's ball and chuck it to the other end of the gym. Trying to get the ball out of those club hands is no easy feat. My dad's hands are almost as thick as they are long. I love to look at Steel's hands. He has mini clubs just like my dad. They are so big and thick if he plays baseball we won't need to buy him a mitt.

I love it when I get to see my dad's traits in my kids. Thor's ears, Cash's deep blue eyes (though not as deep as dad's), Steel's hands, etc. Probably best not too mention the faulty ear canals and the asthma. I wonder if we got the gluten intolerance from him too?:)

I pray everyday that my dad will finally beat this cancer. I pray everyday that he will have the strength he needs to stay positive and strong. I pray everyday to have peace and comfort. I pray everyday to bend my will to the Lord's. I pray everyday to live up to the privilege of being my dad's daughter. 

The Bridge Builder

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came at the evening, cold and gray,
To chasm, vast and deep and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.

The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned when safe on the other side

And built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim near,

"You are wasting strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way;
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide --
Why build you the bridge at the eventide?"

The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm that has been naught to me
To that fair-haired youth may a pit-fall be,
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."

Will Allen Dromgoole