Kids Sports

Warning: This post is a vent.
My son Thor is the nicest kid. He is respectful, mostly obedient, kind, compassionate and goofy. I, of course, think he's the best. When I feel that my kids have been wronged or treated badly I want to rip the offenders face off. Even if the offender is my other kid. I have a really hard time letting natural consequences take their course. 
My kids play sports mostly because I grew up playing sports. They were an awesome outlet for me and I had spectacular coaches. We have coached our kids sports because we realized early on that great coaches are hard to come by. Not that we think we're great, but we are fair and enthusiastic. We have coached Cash in soccer for 3 years. This is our last year because we are not soccer players and Cash is outgrowing us. We could coach basketball forever but our older kids don't really love it, we'll see (fingers crossed). Thor started playing lacrosse a couple of years ago. This sport is totally foreign to us so we can't coach. This is why Thor got downhearted this weekend and I am obsessing.
Thor had his first lacrosse game of the season this weekend and played like 3 minutes out of the whole game. He's 10. Seriously?! I haven't seen him this sad in a long time. The poor little guy was holding back the tears really well which meant I couldn't cry even though I felt like it too. Trav chatted with him on the way home. Trav was feeling him out on how he felt about lacrosse. He offered to pay him $100 to quit right then. Thor wouldn't do it. He really loves lacrosse. When he got home I asked how it went as he headed up the stairs. All he said was that he didn't get to play much. When I probed I learned he doesn't even get scrimmage time at practice. 
So I wasted no time in emailing the coach to ask if we are wasting out time in this lacrosse endeavor. Thor practices 3 times a week and has to be to the games an hour early every Saturday. Our family time is important so we sacrificing too so he can play. I tried to be kind and give this guy (whom I now hate) the benefit of the doubt even though I wanted to drive to his house (if I knew where he lived) and at least slash his tires. He expained that he is trying to balance winning and playing time. He said it was an oversight that Thor wasn't scrimmaging at practice and that he was trying to remedy that. This guy is giving up his time too and he has a lot of kids on the team. 
My problem is this. Do the kids really care who wins or do they care if they play? Thor didn't bring up once that they won. As a coach, I always feel like it's my responsibility to make sure the kids have a great time and that they learn some skills and gain a love of the sport. I don't coach college or competition level, obviously. But what is youth sports for? There are so many wonderful things that my coaches taught me and  a lot wasn't about the sport they taught. When did we get so obsessed with winning that it gets in the way of humanity? When a boy gets his heart broken is it worth it if we win?
What about the boys that get to play and then next year decide they don't like lacrosse or they are better at basketball? I grew like 10 inches my sophomore year. I went from a point guard to a power forward in one year. I could barely walk without falling over and most of the skills I had worked on for 7 years were not longer required and I needed new ones. I sat the bench for a year or two. But I worked by buns off and my senior year I was a starter and I got a scholarship to play ball in college. Some of the girls that played over me quit for various reasons. A lot of them sat while I played my senior year. How can we tell who is going to be great and who peaked early when these kids are 10? How can we tell who wants it bad enough? How can we rule anyone out? This is how I think.
When is it worth it to win at all costs? What does this teach this boy? I'm trying to raise a great man who will be a loving husband and a responsible father. I don't care if he wins at lacrosse. If it were up to me, we would never see this coach again. But what does that teach my son about life. We always say we never quit. Am I too much of a baby to handle this situation? Do I want out because it's easier for me? 
Thor wants to keep playing so he will. He and Trav signed a contract to practice every day. They mapped out a game plan. This still doesn't guarantee playing time but at least he has a game plan. That always helps me.
I hope he realizes that he is important as a person and that it doesn't matter how good he is at lacrosse (because he's not great). He's so smart, he sings in a childrens choir, he plays piano, he won a chess tournament, etc. I hope this turns out to be a good learning experience for him. Mostly, I wish that he would never play again and I wish that the coach gets scheduled to work overtime and can't coach anymore.